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Religion, like politics, is something polite people aren’t supposed to talk about, particularly at the dinner table. And there’s sound reasoning for this: Passions can flame, voices spike, dissent can explode into disputes long festering.

But if one never talks about religion, how will one ever learn? And that’s seen as vital now as society is becoming more multicultural, more multidenominational and ever more vocal.

“Over the years, I have noticed several changes,” Vasudha Narayanan, director of the University of Florida’s Center for the Study of Hindu Traditions, wrote in an email.

(Curious about religious holidays? Check the Web. “If you approach a friend or acquaintance with a humble attitude the opposite of missionary zeal you’ll start a more honest dialogue. Sprinkle in a little bit of humor about your faith (yes, even serious believers should have a sense of humor) and ask sincere questions.”

“Sincerity about your motives is crucial,” Asma added. “Many people maintain devotion to their beliefs by harboring secret disdain for every other faith. This is a change for her. Growing up, religion was discussed only by who were very observant or crazy, she said.

“We want our son to grow up understanding religion is not a forbidden topic, and he needs to be able to speak about it,” said Larkin, whose book, “From Generation to Generation: A Story of Intermarriage and Jewish Continuity,” will be published in June. “It is very much in your face down here, and you need to be able to talk about it, take a position and support it.”

Why does talk of religion generate so much heat?

“It often comes from a gut place rather than a heart place, and a gut place is more reactive,” said the Rev. Shannon A. “You are not trying to change people. You are interested, curious even, in the other person and what their experience is.”Be honest. “A wonderful conversation starter is,
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‘I don’t know anything, or I don’t know much about your religious practices and I would appreciate it if you can help me understand the significance of your upcoming holiday,'” said Stuart Matlins, a Woodstock, Vt. based publisher of Skylight Paths, a publishing house specializing in religious themed books, and co editor of “How to Be the Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook.”

Reach out bravely. “Say you grow up a fundamentalist Christian in southwest Missouri, and the people you congregate with are from a similar background. It’s like reading newspaper columnists who completely agree with you.”

Realize culture and religion are often deeply intertwined. Gain insight into religion, said Vasudha Narayanan, a religion professor at the University of Florida, through food, music, dance, performance and other cultural activities.

Use humor cautiously. Don’t make jokes until you get to know the people you’re with, Narayanan said. “Frequently people from an ethnic or religious group make jokes about themselves, and it can be hysterically funny, and we are tempted to follow it up with another in the same genre. But . the same joke told by an ‘outsider’ can be offensive.”

Realize generational or cultural differences can add tension. Put, for example, parents who moved here from another country with their more Americanized children and there “may be an energetic discussion,” said Edgar Hopida, communications director for the Islamic Society of North America in Plainfield, Ind.

Be willing to change the subject. “Sometimes you have to pick your battles,” said the Rev. Shannon A. White, pastor of Wilton Presbyterian Church in Connecticut. “Sometimes you can change the subject and say, ‘I don’t want to go there.’ Or you can say, ‘We agree to disagree,’ which is not easily bought by someone who needs to be right. You just say,
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‘There are a lot of different viewpoints. I’m just expressing one.’ “.

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Don Talk Yourself Out Of Affiliate Marketing

Curated By Kelly McCausey Leave a Comment

When I was new to Affiliate Marketing, I totally psyched myself out of it. I signed up for a few affiliate programs, I don remember which, and I tried to promote them here and there and not surprisingly, I didn do well. (Meaning I didn make any sales.) I chalked it up to the idea that I was small to be an affiliate marketer.

It was true. I had a small website with small traffic, a small circle of influence and a small amount of patience Oh and quite a bit of small thinking!

When I entered into my first real partnership, she (Alice Seba) asked if I like to split affiliate commissions on the services and products we recommended within the membership. I said I thought it wouldn be enough money to be worth the trouble. I don know how many times I had similar faulty thoughts about it but I do know it was a full year later that I finally woke up and realized what I was missing out on.

I started promoting a few highly relevant affiliate programs like Aweber and those that offered good info products. Of course I dabbled with Amazon too. Amazon never earned me more than $30 a month that I can remember but the other programs started to produce results slow at first very slow but this time I had more patience. I stuck to it, kept promoting learned from what worked and what flopped.

By the time I quit my day job in 2006, affiliate commissions represented about 30% of my overall income much of that residual. (At the time that came to around $10,000.)

Residual, I LOVE that word!

The person (Lynn Terry) who first referred me to Aweber continues to earn commissions on my quarterly payments today. That about $70 per year which means she up to about $500. Can you imagine how many people she referred over the years? I love to know what her Aweber checks look like. For myself, I earn about $115 from recommending Aweber every two or three months and that number will surely grow over time.

Recommending tools that people will use over the long term is a fantastic residual affiliate opportunity, IF the residual commissions are offered. Things like Email Management and Hosting are have tools for all marketers.

Speaking of Hosting, most Hosting company affiliate programs are not residual They pay out a lump sum and that that.

When Nicole Dean and I planned out the Mom Webs Hosting Affiliate Program we knew we wanted to break that mold and offer a residual program. We pay affiliates a 20% commission, residual for the life of the client. When the brother brand, Reliable Webs, was launched it was given the same residual program.

You refer a new hosting customer who signed up for the $10/month multi domain hosting plan. You earn $2 for their first month payment. Small potatoes compared to the $50 $65 that other programs will pay out to you, right? Ok well, let look at the long term. That customer earns you $24 for the year and another $24 every year after. (And most hosting clients DO stay for the long term.) If you make my early mistake and only think about the short term,
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you choose the big bucks fast. But if you smart like I am today, you choose the residual option and be earning year after year.

This math gets more interesting when the customer you refer chooses our $20 plan or one of our VPS plans.

The $20 plan earns you $48 per year.

The lowest cost $50 VPS plan earns you $120 per year.

Goodness, if you reach people who have multiple websites or those who are ready to invest more to safe guard their web properties you be leaving money on the table to refer them to one of the payment only programs.

I like to say that I never fall for small thinking anymore and hopefully I don for it but I will admit I still have the temptation.

This year a terrific new tool came out that I fell in love with. I talking about Box Shot King. I bought it after learning about it from David. He did a big promo for it.

As soon as I used it I knew my people needed it but I had this little voice in my head, already promoted it so heavily it probably isn worth your time everyone who would be interested already knows (Small thinking!) Thankfully I shook those dumb thoughts off and went ahead with my own promotions. I glad I did the affiliate checks from ClickBank that followed have been very welcome!

Ready to Boost Your Affiliate Income?

I sure hope so! I know I am. I going to shake off the but so many other people are promoting it small thinking that I been guilty of and just go for it like I did today. Today it brought me an extra $150 tomorrow who knows?

Seek out new programs. Ask around your niche and find out who your contemporaries are earning from.

Go back to the programs you earned from in the past. If you made one sale, you can more more. Or as Connie Ragen Green put it in my Hot Seminar Series, knew if I could make one sale, I could make 100,000! creative and be purposeful. Affiliate marketing in your sidebar will never work like you hope you have to specifically promote the tools and resources that you believe your people need. I held a live webinar to show Box Shot King off and continue to make videos to show what I using it for. If you go the extra mile, you might surprise yourself!

If you dismissed affiliate marketing in the past, will you give it another go?

Last 5 Articles Added By Kelly McCauseyWhy Do You Buy PLR? May 4th, 2012Become Someone Small Business Owners Can Trust With Their Website April 24th, 2010What the heck do you know anyways? October 9th, 2008Can you spot A Perfectly Awful Ad Opportunity? October 5th, 2008Don’t Start Over Just Begin Again October 5th, 2008

Filed Under: Business Marketing

About Kelly McCausey

Kelly McCausey is a internet marketer, podcaster and online business coach. She is passionate about helping solopreneurs cut their learning curve and create profitable online businesses. Visit her on the web at Solo Smarts.
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Rajkot, Nov 4: On the eve of the second T20 International against New Zealand here, left arm spinner Axar Patel on Friday said he doesn talk much to head coach Ravi Shastri on his bowling technique and revealed that the former India all rounder only asks him to bowl stump to stump.

Axar felt his style of bowling is quite different from Shastri, who was a left arm spinner himself during his playing days.

“I do not talk to him (Ravi) too much as he knows my bowling style is quite different, as compared to him. He does not suggest too many changes,” the Gujarat spinner told reporters in the pre match presser.

“He says, you know you have come into the Indian team after having performed well, so just continue doing the same.

“He also often talks about the need to know about how to bowl in different pressure situations. He does not give me major advice, but asks me to bowl stump to stump,” he added.

Commenting on the role of spinners in the side, which also includes the wrist spin duo of Kuldeep Yadav and Yuzvendra Chahal, Axar said: “Wrist spinners can attack because they get more spin from the surface and it can be any surface. Their role is mostly to attack and take wickets in the middle overs.”

“Finger spinner role is to contain things. If there is no partnership,
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pressure cannot be created on the batsmen. So this is our planning,” he added.

Axar is someone who does not turn the ball much but rather depends on his unwavering line and length. It is the kind of bowling which helps him to pressurise the batsmen, and thus allow bowlers at the other end to take wickets.

Crediting skipper Virat Kohli for allowing him to bowl with a free mind, the tweaker said: “Obviously the captain backs you if you do well. I been playing since the second ODI and he (Kohli) has been supporting me to bowl with a free mind.

“He allows you to bowl with a free mind and set the field accordingly. And if it doesn work out, he gives suggestions. Obviously you feel better and have a free mind if the captain backs you,” he added.

India are currently 1 0 up in the brief three match series after thrashing the tourists in the opener at the Ferozshah Kotla by 53 runs on Tuesday.

Asked about his strategy going into the second game, which also gives India a very good opportunity to pocket the series, Axar said: “In the first ODI they had played the sweep shot really well. Their strategy in Mumbai was clear that they will sweep against the spinners.”

“For me the strategy was to employ an angle be it over the wicket or around the wicket. And to mix things up, push a full delivery or a shorter delivery. That is how we had planned things.

On playing at his home ground, Axar is confident of how the pitch behaves and hoped that his inputs will help the team during the encounter.

“This is my home crowd and I know what kind of wicket there is here and the pitch as well. Mostly the focus will be on repeating what I do in the IPL also. I know and judge how the wicket is behaving and bowl accordingly.

“There is little turn on offer, the ball does skid and there is less bounce. I will work on bowling well and can suggest to my teammates also,” he said.
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FILE In this June 6, 2013 file photo, honoree Mel Brooks addresses the audience during the American Film Institute’s 41st Lifetime Achievement Award Gala at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. The intro will be broadcast from the 20th Century Fox Lot in 500 theaters nationwide, according to an announcement from Fathom Events Tuesday, Sept. 6, 2016. (Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, File)

LOS ANGELES, Calif. Frankenstein will come alive in theatres once again on Oct. The intro will be broadcast from the 20th Century Fox Lot in 500 theatres nationwide, according to an announcement from Fathom Events Tuesday.

In addition to touring the studio lot, where much of the movie was filmed, Brooks is expected reminisce about his friend and collaborator Wilder, who died last Sunday from complications from Alzheimer disease.

Frankenstein is one of Wilder most fondly remembered films. The announcement comes on the heels of AMC Theaters bringing other Wilder favourites Saddles and Wonka and the Chocolate Factory back to theatres this past weekend.
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Student Seduction, starring Saved By the Bell’s Jessie Spano!

This movie opens right up to the police barging into a high school and asking for some dude named Joshua. He is confused.

Then they go to Jessie Spano’s classroom and she’s teaching her students about oxidation. She asks the police if they need her for more questioning so she is not confused did she call them? They tell her she can’t finish her class and have her come with them.

The cops who have Joshua in custody walk right into these cops, which seems a bit messy and also opens everything up to school gossip when the bell rings and students flood out and see both a student and a teacher with the police. Joshua continues to look confused.

Cut to, an alarm going off at 6am and Jessie Spano’s husband getting all frisky, while she apparently sleeps in full makeup and a black lace nighty. This scene has the “one month earlier” text on it so we know this happened one month ago. Husband tells her that only her could make chemistry sexy and then they make out a lot in a long sexy scene that is to show that this lady is in a great marriage. After they do it she says “we have to be more careful about getting pregnant.” Um, that thought should come BEFORE the sex. Husband is all “or, less careful.” with a raised eyebrow but she isn’t having it and shoves him off. They go downstairs and husband brings it up again and she says that she can’t take maternity leave right now because this is her first year teaching. He makes a pretty gross comment about how she already has a job being a doctor’s wife “isn’t that every woman’s dream?” Ew.

This next scene really happens Jessie Spano pulls up to school and just sits in the car mildly jamming to some boring alterna rock song.

She’s not singing along or anything, just slightly bobbing her head. Some student gets dropped off and goes up to the car all “is this ‘Take Me Away’?” and Jessie says she just loves this song and the student admits that it’s great but she doesn’t have it yet. END SCENE.

What the eff just happened? Was that clever product placement for the band Lifehouse?

In school we see Joshua and he’s in the hall making out with some blonde so he’s clearly a ladies man. Another teacher calls this couple “two future members of the unwed parents club.” Laughs. Jessie says she should remember what it was like to be that age. I think we’re supposed to believe that Jessie Spano is young here because she is mistaken for a student in the next minute. Ummmmm, no. She’s 30 something and also not dressed like a student at all and she has her full hair and makeup done.

She’s teaching chemistry and Joshua is kind of dumb. He shatters a beaker because he removes it from heat abruptly after everyone tells him not to and he just sits there with a hangdog look on his face like “whahappened?”. His lab partner is pissed.

^^^^^ the blonde he was making out with ^^^^^

Joshua tells Jessie Spano that he is going to have to drop the class because it’s messing with his average and then we’re in a counseling session with them, Joshua’s parents and the principal.

Joshua’s dad claims that this new hotshot teacher is the problem because she runs her class like it’s a college course (it’s a senior level chemistry class, shouldn’t it be sort of like a college course?) and that his son’s grades shouldn’t suffer. No one agrees with him and it’s decided that Jessie Spano will be doing some tutoring after school a few times a week, ON HER OWN TIME to help this idiot. His dad doesn’t even thank her. Dad needs to wake up and smell the coffee, the coffee that smells like your idiot son.

Joshua is a little too into the tutoring idea but Jessie Spano is such a wide eyed baby about this whole teaching thing that she doesn’t notice and mistakes his boner for a boner for learning about chemistry. Rookie mistake!

She is pretty hard ass with him until she totally lets him take her out to a burger place that other kids hang out at but this seems to happen on other teen shows so maybe it’s not weird? After graduating, I’d hang out one on one with my history teacher. My sister, who was in his class, was the only one who hated that haha. He’s telling her that his dad expects him to go to an Ivy league school but luckily dad is an alum with money so this doofus should be fine. She tells him about her marriage and how she worked to put her husband through medical school before going to “the teacher’s college.” He’s all “whoa, you supported him?” because no women in his family work or support the family (not a joke, he’s really never heard of that).

Joshua is dumb enough to tell her that she doesn’t look like most people who are good at science because she is “a babe.” She is uncomfortable but also pissed and asks him if attractive women are all stupid and he backtracks. She tells him to stick to the work and takes off.

The next day in tutoring session she’s teaching him about hydrogen bonds while he looks at her butt. He sort of gets it but then says he still can’t do it on his own. Tutoring session is over and he asks if he can take her out for another veggie burger.

She’s all “no, that was a one time deal” and he has the audacity to say that since she’s the wife of a doctor he just thought maybe she’d be alone but he doesn’t get that sentence out before she cuts him off and tells him that’s inappropriate. She also has the smarts to inform him that she’s doing him a huge favor and that he should just appreciate that.

The blondie from before finds Joshua and basically tells him her parents aren’t home so they should “study” at her house. He unlocks his car which means he’s down with this plan. END SCENE.

Jessie Spano is at the movies where she learns that her husband won’t be joining her because he’s stuck at work. She’s kind of pissed. Then we cut to Josh and blonde girl boning in the shower, and by that of course I mean to say that they’re “studying.”

She throws on some jeans made out of denim, lace and bandanas and asks if they can get dinner at “the caboose.” I hope that’s not a euphemism.

(this picture is only included to show a little peek at those jeans, the incredible waist band free jeans made out of household items)

He starts undressing her again and she says that they never go anywhere but he’s not listening. She then says “you can be such a jerk sometimes” and he FREAKS out and throws her down. “DON’T EVER CALL ME THAT!!” All the while he’s only wearing a towel that doesn’t even budge.

She tells him to leave and he does. In his glued on towel.

At school he walks right passed the girl he was just psycho to (and also banged in the shower) and on to the girl who just loves that song (from the commercial for that band earlier) and says something about needed her chemistry homework and asks if 30 dollars will make her feel better about things.

She looks really uncomfortable like she’s afraid of him though and he words things really weirdly about how they need to bury the hatchet. What has this jerk done to her? I’m sure we’ll soon find out.

Joshua is in his chemistry tutoring session giving his duhhhh face when Jessie Spano asks him what he’s thinking about and he says a girl. She tells him to go home.

In the parking lot her car won’t start and she calls someone and is all “yeah, it’s me again” to show us that her car breaks down all the time. They say it will be a while and she hangs up her phone and keeps trying to start it as though this time will be different.

Creepy Joshua pops up by her car all “I may be bad at chemistry, but I’m awesome at fixing cars!
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” and has her pop the hood. He fixes and she thanks him but then he calls her by her first name like they’re buddies and she gets her frown on. Displeased!

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Chardon quarterback Tommy Benenati>> Benenati accounted for 2,819 yards (2,217 rushing, 602 passing) and 35 touchdowns last season, leading the Hilltoppers to the second round of the Division II playoffs while also taking home the coveted Tony Fisher Award as The News Herald football player of the year.

Whoever has to fill his shoes this season is going to have his hands full. Has any quarterback in Chardon history mastered the Wing T offense better than Benenati? Not likely.

Perry receiver/defensive back Andy Foley>> The Pirates had only seven seniors on last year Division IV state semifinalist, so you could likely make a case on this list for all seven of them as being sorely missed this season.

Foley had 1,332 receiving yards, 258 rushing yards, 146 passing yards and 20 combined touchdowns on offense last year. He also had 10 interceptions on defense.

The Pirates have some fine skill returning, such as Jacob Allen and Jacob Peteritis. But the Pirates no longer have Foley, who demanded double teams, which often left others open.

Officials at the Ohio North South game, where Foley was named the small school game offensive MVP, said Grand Valley State got a steal in Foley.

Brush Tyrone Chambers and Christian Wright>> Wright ran for 2,118 yards and 25 touchdowns as a senior, while the 6 foot 5, 325 pound Chambers was a wrecking ball on the defensive line.

One of the best young coaches in the area is Brush Jeff Fink. But even Fink would admit 2,000 yard rushers like Wright and 325 pound defensive linemen like Chambers don grow on trees.

Chambers signed with Toledo, while Wright is off to Garden City Junior College in search of an eventual Division I scholarship offer.

There are some good ones coming up at Brush, including multi faceted quarterback Godwin Joe and defender Raysean Stewart,
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but how do you replace players like Chambers and Wright?

Kirtland linebacker Owen Loncar>> Maybe Loncar shouldn be on this list of irreplaceable players, because it sure seems like coach Tiger LaVerde has the uncanny ability to find a stud linebacker to place in the middle of his vaunted defense.

Everybody thought Kirtland would never be able to replace Christian Hauber, Matthew Finkler, and Evan Madden and the Hornets found a way to do it. That trio, as well as Loncar, were all first team All Ohio and/or state defensive player of the year.

But again, we bite. . Who is going to replace the Division VI defensive player of the year Loncar?

Come Week 1, we probably know.

LaVerde has that knack.

It not easy, even though LaVerde makes it look that way.

South receiver Devanaire Conliffe>> If you Conliffe coach, where do you play him?

The simple answer anywhere.

Conliffe caught 1,095 yards worth of passes, scored 20 touchdowns and picked off five passes. He was athletic enough to play in space, but also big enough (6 2, 215) to play tight end, linebacker or safety if asked to do so.

At this spring News Herald Senior Bowl, he was the game MVP and the leading rusher in the game.

The consensus is Ohio Dominican got a Division I talent in Conliffe.

No coach job is easy when it comes to replacing top line talent. But not only does South coach Matt Duffy have to replace a do it all standout like Conliffe, he also has to replace the player (quarterback Mike Federico, 2,087 passing yards, 24 touchdowns) who threw all those passes to him.
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(CNN) The attempted attack on a Northwest Airlines flight Friday fell almost to the day eight years after another failed solo attack on an international flight.

Two months after 19 jihadists hijacked airplanes and flew them into the World Trade Centers, the Pentagon and a Pennsylvania field, Richard Reid attempted to detonate explosives hidden in his sneakers on an American Airlines flight from Paris, France, to Miami, Florida. Passengers thwarted his plan, and the plane landed safely in Boston, Massachusetts.

Reid pleaded guilty to terrorism charges in October 2002 and is serving a life sentence at the nation’s super maximum security prison in Florence, Colorado.

American Airlines Flight 63, carrying 197 people from Paris to Miami was diverted to Boston on December 22, 2001, after passengers and crew saw Reid trying to light a fuse and subdued him by tying him to his seat. A doctor on board administered a tranquilizer.

FBI bomb technicians and explosives experts found explosives in Reid’s shoes.

Reid, a British citizen and convert to Islam, pleaded guilty to all eight counts against him including attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction, attempted homicide and placing an explosive device on an aircraft.

“At the end of the day, I know I did the actions,” Reid said when entering his plea. “Basically I got on a plane with a bomb. Basically I tried to ignite it.”

The day before Reid went on his solo mission, he wrote a letter to his mother bequeathing his belongings to Moussaoui, casting further doubt on Moussaoui’s claim that they later intended to die together in what court documents called a “martyrdom operation.”

Moussaoui was arrested in August 2001 in Minnesota after instructors at the flight school he was attending reported he was acting suspiciously and did not have much flying experience. Throughout his legal proceedings he repeatedly changed his story. He pleaded guilty to terrorism conspiracy and is also serving a life sentence in the Colorado prison.
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(incl. Anime News Nina!, ANNtv, ANNCast, Answerman, Astro Toy, Brain Diving, Buried Treasure, Chicks On Anime, Crashing Japan, The Dub Track, The Edit List, Epic Threads, From The Gallery, Hai Fidelity, House of 1000 Manga, Ima Kore Ga Hoshiin Da, Old School, Pile of Shame, RIGHT TURN ONLY!!, Shelf Life, Sound Decision, Sub Culture, Super Plastic, Tales Of The Industry, Tankobon Tower, The Click, The Gallery, The List, The Mike Toole Show, The Set List, The Stream, The X Button, This Week in Anime, Vice Luna)I disagree. BL is largely part of shoujo. Shoujo in general is deeply invested in gender non normativity. Look at the number of heterosexual romances in which the male lead has overtly non masculine traits, from his hobbies/personality (Otomen) to outright crossdressing (at least four in English; of those not in English, Usotsuki Lily is particularly interesting). Look at the shoujo series where sexually aggressive women target feminine uke ish men (TrainTrain, Gakuen Prince). Look at the sheer amount of shoujo related merch featuring cute uke type guys who are not presented as being in gay relationships. You can’t tell me that that is all byblows of stereotypes about homosexuality.I think it’s great that there are Shojo titles that features subversion of the usually romance tropes. Why is it that BL doesn’t also have this sort of diversity? BL seems to follow the “girly uke” and “manly seme” formula way too often. It all still seems pretty fishy to me. If defying conventional masculinity is really the goal, why are there not many feminine man x feminine man titles? I’m aware that they exist, but they aren’t nearly as popular as titles that feature the usual seme/uke BL relationship. I suppose you could argue that the presence of a “manly seme” would highlight the femininity of the “girly uke”, but then why must they always be in a relationship? You could easily place other manly characters around the feminine character to get the same effect, but this is not the strategy that mangaka use. There is still that “manly seme” that inevitably winds up with the “girly uke”, which mirrors heterosexual relationships way too closely.I really don’t think it’s only because gay men don’t want to be stereotyped generally. Japanese gay men’s media (and to a large extent Western gay men’s media) overwhelmingly represent gay men as uniformly hypermasculine, which is itself a stereotype. There are gay men who do not identify with this stereotype, and there have certainly been gay men who have complained about it, but not to the degree or with the vitrol that the majority complain about being stereotyped as feminine. The particular distaste for being represented as feminine is absolutely related to the devaluation of femininity.I’m sure that there are people out there who devalue femininity like you are saying, but you are making it sound like that is the main thing that’s going down. The main issue is still the larger cultural context of how homosexuality is perceived in Japan. Often, people react more extremely against a stereotype if its more prevalent. It’s something that you have to fight harder against. Some gay men are portrayed as hypermasculine, and if a gay man physically looks very masculine (muscular build, traditional masculine clothes and whatnot), then it’s true that he may be placed in this category. However, I would argue that the “feminine gay man” stereotype is so prevalent in Japan, that if a gay man does not look hypermasculine, he will automatically be seen as “feminine gay man who wants to be a woman”. I would not blame a gay man for being irked at this assumption.I feel that it’s similar to how lesbians can be stereotyped in America. There’s an expectation in American culture that lesbians should be “butch”, similar to the Japanese expectation that a gay man should be feminine. If a lesbian reacts badly to a person expecting her to be butch, it doesn’t necessarily mean she hates masculinity. In that video I keep referencing, the gay man (who didn’t want to come out to people because of that feminine stereotype) didn’t seem disgusted at being seen as a woman. The impression that I got was that he hated when people assumed things about him that weren’t true.Quote: I think it’s great that there are Shojo titles that features subversion of the usually romance tropes. Why is it that BL doesn’t also have this sort of diversity? BL seems to follow the “girly uke” and “manly seme” formula way too often. It all still seems pretty fishy to me. If defying conventional masculinity is really the goal, why are there not many feminine man x feminine man titles? I’m aware that they exist, but they aren’t nearly as popular as titles that feature the usual seme/uke BL relationship. I suppose you could argue that the presence of a “manly seme” would highlight the femininity of the “girly uke”, but then why must they always be in a relationship? You could easily place other manly characters around the feminine character to get the same effect, but this is not the strategy that mangaka use. There is still that “manly seme” that inevitably winds up with the “girly uke”, which mirrors heterosexual relationships way too closely.I feel the purpose of putting the two extremes together is simply to highlight the differences between them. Foils are a common thing in writing, and usually a character’s foil is equal in importance to them. A manly seme and a feminine uke when together emphasize the each other’s traits. It’s like how in heterosexual romances, say, a calm collected guy and a more whimsical girl are put together (though then we get into the possibly bad territory of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.). Also, conflict can come from both characters clashing with each other.If the Seme/Uke dynamic is popular in Japan because of their perception of gay relationships, as you say, then why is the dynamic popular in western BL fandom as well? Us westerners don’t have the “gay men are women trapped in a man’s body” idea (well, MOST of us don’t, hopefully!) and as CrowLia said are a little further ahead of Japan when it comes to homosexual stuff (though we’re far, FAR from perfect) and yet the dynamic is very popular here as well. Are we simply missing the context and interpreting it through a different cultural lens?Well, a couple of reasons. As Chagen46 points out, it’s an axiom of shoujo romance that there should be a strong contrast between the leads (see both of the translated “how to be a shoujo mangaka” books). Another is that it allows the female reader to occupy a traditionally masculine role (in the several reader response surveys of Anglophone BL readers that have been published in the academic literature, about one third of women readers report identifying primarily with the seme.) And I don’t think femme x femme BL is all that rare, actually; it just doesn’t get translated that often.I feel the purpose of putting the two extremes together is simply to highlight the differences between them. Foils are a common thing in writing, and usually a character’s foil is equal in importance to them. A manly seme and a feminine uke when together emphasize the each other’s traits. It’s like how in heterosexual romances, say, a calm collected guy and a more whimsical girl are put together (though then we get into the possibly bad territory of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.). Also, conflict can come from both characters clashing with each other.I suppose I can accept that as being one reason why the girly uke/manly seme trope exists. However, I still find it unsettling that the relationship dynamic tends to mirror heterosexual romance clichs. If we were to give this the benefit of the doubt and say that the characters were given their traits solely to defy gender conformity, is it now inevitable that the couple must have a dynamic that is more stereotypical of heterosexual couples? When you compare the relationships in BL and shojo works, it’s easy to see how similar the formulas are.If the Seme/Uke dynamic is popular in Japan because of their perception of gay relationships, as you say, then why is the dynamic popular in western BL fandom as well? Us westerners don’t have the “gay men are women trapped in a man’s body” idea (well, MOST of us don’t, hopefully!) and as CrowLia said are a little further ahead of Japan when it comes to homosexual stuff (though we’re far, FAR from perfect) and yet the dynamic is very popular here as well. Are we simply missing the context and interpreting it through a different cultural lens?Ooo, this is a super interesting point to bring up. I’m definitely not an expert on this particular topic of sexuality, but I have dabbled in researching some theories behind this and I love to speculate, so here goes. While there are various types of anime/manga in Japan, the most popular tends to make its way to the US. I would argue that the most popular BL in Japan is of the “manly seme”/”girly uke” variety that is targeted towards women. Consequently, that is the prevalent type of BL that we see in the States. For lady anime fans that like guy on guy, this may have been what they were more exposed to, and thus grew to enjoy. From what I’ve witnessed of American non anime fan women who like guy on guy stuff, they tend to like the more masculine guy on masculine guy stuff (again, totally haven’t seen research on this, so relying on my own anecdotal experiences). We can also speculate that heterosexual women may rely on or be more comfortable with romantic dynamics that they are more familiar with. So although they may enjoy seeing/reading about guys loving other guys, they may wish to see romantic aspects that are found in more familiar heterosexual relationships, such as one of the guys having more stereotypical feminine traits and the other guy being more stereotypically masculine. Lots of possibilities!I have to disagree with your view on characters in yuri titles. Lesbian stereotypes are a bit different in Japan than in America. From what I’ve read, lesbians in Japan don’t quite have the same sort of prevalent stereotypes as gay men do. In fact, it’s not really a strange concept for girls to “admire” other girls in Japan. Kind of the “Senpai, notice me!” thing. I do believe that it’s considered strange for women to identify as lesbian, but I’m not aware of any notions of “lesbians are men trapped in women’s bodies”. That being said, I always feel like rolling my eyes when I see the yuri couple following the heteronormative relationship dynamic of the princely girl and the girly girl, just as I would at the BL couple that follows the manly man and the girly boy dynamic. Yuri is interesting though, because it doesn’t seem to follow that dynamic very closely, mostly because of the general acceptance of girls admiring each other and being affectionate in Japanese society. Two traditionally feminine girls are likely to be yuri protagonists because a romantic relationship is not too far off from what is normally expected of two feminine girls.Gay male relationships in Japan are a different story though. I believe it was CrowLia that mentioned that Japanese society is just plain uncomfortable with guys loving guys. I’ve already described how this is harmful to gay men, and that perpetuating the stereotype is problematic. I’ve also already explained that gay men have every right to reject the feminine stereotype if it doesn’t suit them. If BL mangaka really are only defying conventional gender norms, why are they perpetuating the all too conventional stereotype of the feminine gay man? It would be far more impactful if they stepped away from the stereotype and defied conventional masculinity in a heterosexual male character (which surely some shojo mangaka have done).People rag on the “girly ukes” because we see it for what it is an attempt to heteronormalize a gay relationship by giving one of the male characters feminine characteristics. Now why do we westerners feel the need to rag on the “girly uke”? Probably because gender and sexuality issues are huge in the western world right now. hating a feminine man because he’s feminine).I get the impression that you don’t read much shoujo; check out Otomen sometime, which is specifically about a man with a feminine personality and interests and how awesome he is. It’s terrific and hugely popular both in Japan and here almost every volume has been a NYT manga list bestseller. Or try The Story of Saiunkoku (which is also terrific): the pretty blond romantic interest (on the cover of V1 and V9) has feminine mannerisms, is slightly ditzy (but very smart), and is completely clueless about everyday life (because he’s been cloistered in the palace his whole life). And he blushes on occasion. If he was in a BL manga I’m sure people would be complaining about “girls with penises”. In SoS he’s a hot dude with gratuitous bathing scenes.It’s very common for Western men to reject the male leads in shoujo manga as not really being men, as being ridiculously girly, as people they can’t identify with and don’t want to imagine being. A fair number of Japanese men do this too. The key point here is that men don’t like women’s fantasies about men. They don’t match up with men’s fantasies about themselves. This isn’t restricted to gay men, and it isn’t restricted to Japanese media. Look at the amount of whining about “sparkly emo vampires” in Twilight; I can’t stand Twilight, but a lot of the vitriol coming from men was aimed at the insufficient masculinity of the love interest.You can’t tell me that effemiphobia isn’t a real issue. Feminine men in the US take a huge amount of shit. Feminine gay men take a huger amount of shit. Japan is more tolerant of pretty metrosexual guys because it’s understood that women go for that, but overtly feminine men still get shit on for not being “real” men. I’ve seen straight Japanese men talk about liking BL because it validates male femininity as natural and desirable, and presents a different form of male sexuality that isn’t dependent on being aggressive and “carnivorous”.You’re bringing assumptions to the table here: women aren’t attracted to feminine men, women don’t want to be penetrative, women can’t identify with the more masculine character. BL isn’t a coded heterosexual relationship unless you insist that women have to identify solely with the uke. Try looking at Japanese fujoshi culture: they talk about how BL allows them to “take both roles”. Try looking at the academic studies of Anglophone BL readers: they talk about how BL allows readers to fantasize about being dominant and penetrative. Heck, try looking at depictions of fujoshi in Japanese pop culture: the stereotype is that they want their boyfriends to be uke (this comes up in Genshiken, Fujoshi Rumi, My Girlfrend’s a Geek, Tonari no 801 chan)Quote: It’s very common for Western men to reject the male leads in shoujo manga as not really being men, as being ridiculously girly, as people they can’t identify with and don’t want to imagine being. A fair number of Japanese men do this too. The key point here is that men don’t like women’s fantasies about men. They don’t match up with men’s fantasies about themselves. This isn’t restricted to gay men, and it isn’t restricted to Japanese media. Look at the amount of whining about “sparkly emo vampires” in Twilight; I can’t stand Twilight, but a lot of the vitriol coming from men was aimed at the insufficient masculinity of the love interest.Oh man, I’m so glad that someone else believes this. I always wondered why my fellow male anime fans had a tendency to have this wierd bitter hatred for BL/Shoujo going far beyond “I don’t read it” and encroaching on “I hate it and it shouldn’t exist” (such as how many male anime fans despise any kind of yaoishipping) like it’s personally attacking them. I ended up supposing that they hated them because the guys of BL/Shoujo were “stealing” “their” women from them (basically “why are these bitches fawning over them and not MEEEEEE”) combined with a refusal to accept that perhaps their efforts to attract women weren’t lining up with what women actually WANTED.It’s very common for Western men to reject the male leads in shoujo manga as not really being men, as being ridiculously girly, as people they can’t identify with and don’t want to imagine being. A fair number of Japanese men do this too. The key point here is that men don’t like women’s fantasies about men. They don’t match up with men’s fantasies about themselves. This isn’t restricted to gay men, and it isn’t restricted to Japanese media. Look at the amount of whining about “sparkly emo vampires” in Twilight; I can’t stand Twilight, but a lot of the vitriol coming from men was aimed at the insufficient masculinity of the love interest.Girl, I agree with you so hard on this. Like seriously. However, I don’t agree that this necessarily extends to BL. From what I’ve seen on these types of discussions, it seems to boil down to some men viewing male leads in shoujo manga as “setting the bar too high” or maybe more accurately “setting the bar in a place that I’m not going to go”, because they see the male’s charm work on the female lead. I would argue that this doesn’t apply in BL because men who aren’t into BL tend to view it as “guy on guy for girls” and pointedly aren’t really interested. People who are BL fans tend to be more versed in the debates that circulate through BL fandom (such as heteronormative homosexual relationships), and thus throughout their opinions on topics like the “girly uke”. In short,
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guys who rag on the shojo male lead are different from the people who rag on the “girly uke”. Which I suppose I’ll talk more about further downYou can’t tell me that effemiphobia isn’t a real issue. Feminine men in the US take a huge amount of shit. Feminine gay men take a huger amount of shit. Japan is more tolerant of pretty metrosexual guys because it’s understood that women go for that, but overtly feminine men still get shit on for not being “real” men. I’ve seen straight Japanese men talk about liking BL because it validates male femininity as natural and desirable, and presents a different form of male sexuality that isn’t dependent on being aggressive and “carnivorous”.

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Have you set your heart on a classically beautiful traditional wedding? If so, you are in excellent company, since this is still one of the most popular styles of wedding around. One reason why brides like to tackle the traditional wedding style is because certain protocol has been laid out before them. This makes it much easier to go through the planning process by simply following these guidelines. This is true for every aspect of the traditional wedding; from planning the flowers to choosing the traditional wedding invitation wording.

What Traditional Wedding Invitation Wording is Not

If you are concerned that traditional wedding invitation wording does not leave room for customization or your own personal style to show through, think again. You can choose traditional wedding invitation wording that is romantic, poetic or completely formal. You can add your own verse or rearrange the order of the major players involved.

The best thing about traditional wedding invitation wording is that you can stick with the basic templates that can be found all over the Internet or revise one of these designs to suit your own personal needs and taste. Another misnomer about traditional weddings is the cost. While you can easily bust your budget with this style of wedding (as you can with any type of wedding planning), you can also find ways to throw a traditional wedding at a bargain price.

For example, there are many selections of discount wedding invitations that will give you the same simple beauty at a fraction of the cost. If the groom’s parents or the bride and groom are hosting the weddings,
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traditional wedding invitation wording allows for you to make these alterations.

You can also find options for families with divorce, second marriages or a couple that is involving their children in the ceremony. You can find numerous templates for traditional wedding invitation wording online that will help you choose the best text for your own invitation.

Traditional wedding invitation wording is the perfect beginning to an event filled with classic rituals and timeless elegance. Choose your wedding invitations early and set the mood for your special day right from the start.

People interested in the above article are also interested in the related articles listed below:

Choose A Luxury Wedding Venue To Host Your Wedding

There are many things one needs to decide and choose when organizing a wedding. The most important of all is the venue. The wedding venue should be decided upon and also booked in advance. It is important to show attention on wedding venue as it is something that you will remember and cherish all your life.

Best Wedding Dress And Bridal Shoes Selection Tips

Congrats on your engagement. Your huge day is practically here and the primary concern at the forefront of your thoughts when imagining your huge day is that dazzling marriage equip that you will wear as go out the passageway. In any case, there is no compelling reason to surge when searching for a wedding dress it generally serves best to comprehend what you are searching for and how it will look on you.

5 Tips for Attending a Bridal Expo in New Jersey

Attending a bridal expo in New Jersey can be a great way to plan for an upcoming wedding while having fun. You can take care of a lot of your wedding planning requirements all in one place at a bridal expo, and below are a few tips to help you get as much as you can out of your next expo.

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For high school basketball fans, it really is a most wonderful time of year.

Holiday hoops tournaments get underway next week, and I spent the better part of this week talking hoops and the holidays with captains from most of the boys and girls teams in the area.

Robert Bryant, Vernon Hills: Being able to celebrate the holidays with the team is a lot of fun. You still have time to spend with your family, but you also get to play basketball. It’s great.

Jessica Feece, Vernon Hills: We’re playing in the Mundelein tournament and there are so many high quality teams there. It’ll be great competition for us.

Jon Martinez, Round Lake: You get to play games almost every day. I like that and I also like watching the other games, too.

Vanessa Rodriguiz, Round Lake: We play at McHenry and I like how we’re playing new teams. You go into the games a little blind. That’s kind of fun.

Chris Terzic, Antioch: I like not really knowing about all the teams that we’ll be playing.

Allie Anttila, Antioch: We’ll be at Lisle and it’s nice to still be able to hang out with your friends and play basketball over the break. It’s so much fun.

Craig Burton, Warren: We travel down to Pontiac every year and it just seems like our team always gets a lot closer on that trip. We do everything together. It’s like we become a family.

Marko Grcic, Lake Zurich: We go to Pekin and it’s fun to play teams that we’ve never seen before.

Audrey Bauer, Lake Zurich: We play at the Holiday Showcase and the games rotate between Stevenson, Niles West, Loyola and Trinity. We like that because it gives us the chance to play teams we wouldn’t normally play.

Josh Rappaport, Grayslake Central: We’re going to Bloomington and it’s just fun to go away with the team. It’s a really good bonding experience. We do a lot of stuff together.

Jonathan Huisel, Carmel: We get to play a lot of games and not really practice.

Jerry Gaylor, Grant: Getting to play at home (in the Grant Holiday Tournament) is great. We’ve got a pretty good fan section.

Morgan Liles, Grant: We go to Mundelein and it’s a good tournament. It gives us some excitement over break and gives us the chance to get better.

Ross Sauer, Grayslake North: We’ll be at Grant and it’s a fun environment, much different than just playing your normal regular season games.

Ben Brust, Mundelein: I love getting to play teams that we normally don’t play. We go to Jacobs. That’s also a really fun gym to play in.

Brooke Evans, Mundelein: We like hosting a tournament. You don’t have to travel, but you get to see a lot of really good teams.

Tammy Ellis, Wauconda: We’re in a 20 team tournament at Marengo. It’s fun to be in a big tournament and see and play a lot of new teams.

Katelynn Jennings, Libertyville: We go to Mundelein and it is always so competitive. You’re also getting to play against some new teams.

Anna Morrissey, Stevenson: We’re playing in the (Holiday Showcase). It’s exciting because we’re getting to play against a lot of really good teams like Loyola, Barrington and Lake Zurich.

2. What team do you look forward to playing over the holidays and why?

Bryant: Our first game (at the Wheeling Tournament) is against Loyola. We’ve been looking for a signature win and we’d get one if we beat them.

Feece: In the four years I’ve been playing, we’ve never beaten Mundelein. I am really looking forward to playing them.

Martinez: We’ll be at Grant and I like playing Grant. We kind of have a rivalry going with them.

Terzic: We’ll be at Marengo and Sycamore is also going to be there. We played them over the summer and they beat us but it was one of our better games. I think we’d like to get some revenge.

Anttila: Lisle is a really good team and two years ago they beat us in the tournament championship game.

Burton: We play Peoria Manuel in our first game. They’re always pretty good. That should be a lot of fun.
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